Attention, grandeur, respect, privilege

Growing up as a NMom's daughter
I definitely received a lot of attention, 'respects', privileges
Especially that I come from a more well-to-do family than other families


I separated from her
I left my biological family and became close to penniless

People treat my literally like dirt


I must learn how to survive without pennies

Even animals love their offsprings

Why abusive parents abused their children?

Even animals love their offsprings

Why

I don't get it.

The path after abuse ... no one will care
It is harsh
It is exhausting
I have no trust in humanities anymore

NMom The Destroyer

My mom destroyed me
I am that child of the Narcissistic Mother

The beatings do not destroy me
The lies that ruined my reputation do not destroy me
I can rebuild that and the truth wins

What she implanted inside my head was the one that destroyed me

I destroyed everything I had
For a reason in my head
I used to think
if I destroyed everything ... once she is no longer attached to me, she cannot destroy anything that I treasure anymore

recently, only 2 - 3 months ago,
everything just suddenly clicks
I no longer need to destroy anything anymore

I was 33
My aim was 35

It took me 12 years after separating from her to build my life
Now she cannot take it away from me.

Winner vs Survivor

Recovery is not easy as one two three ...

Winner is the one who adapts
Winner is the one who works to get what she/he wants

In life ... a survivor .. (us) have no privilege to indulge in recovering
We must quickly learn, adapt and apply lessons learned in life ... just to survive

Worse
We don't have the privilege of growing up dreaming, thinking, learning and actually living a life